Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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