the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The Olympian is in my bed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
