I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My hand turned me down
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
