Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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  (303): dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party. http://tfl.nu/thh9
  Replies (9) Good night (2301) Bad night (712)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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  (703): i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days! (804): Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us! (703): well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted. http://tfl.nu/ybes
  Replies (48) Good night (5724) Bad night (783)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This girl wants me to lick her pits

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  pits??

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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  (402): This girl wants me to lick her pits (1-402): pits?? (402): Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though http://tfl.nu/86dv
  Replies (33) Good night (752) Bad night (4207)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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  (630): That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims. http://tfl.nu/e1gu
  Replies (10) Good night (4921) Bad night (525)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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  (940): I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl (1-940): you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent. http://tfl.nu/wzvk
  Replies (47) Good night (2187) Bad night (6028)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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  (502): I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound. http://tfl.nu/d4li
  Replies (16) Good night (712) Bad night (6457)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that

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  (289): i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that http://tfl.nu/oz0t
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (4418)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys

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  (512): the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys http://tfl.nu/w106
  Replies (14) Good night (2531) Bad night (4472)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well

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  (318): Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well http://tfl.nu/57uf
  Replies (8) Good night (758) Bad night (2787)
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  (818): View more from California

  Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.

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  (818): Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some. http://tfl.nu/upkj
  Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (3093)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.

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  (318): As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right. http://tfl.nu/x0n7
  Replies (6) Good night (3452) Bad night (843)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (534)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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  (360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (1281)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"

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  (509): So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila" http://tfl.nu/anii
  Replies (3) Good night (2043) Bad night (423)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

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  (319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c
  Replies (4) Good night (253) Bad night (546)

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