Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...

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(469): I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra... http://tfl.nu/hira

Replies (45) Good night (6489) Bad night (1296)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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(715): and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat... http://tfl.nu/4hvy

Replies (26) Good night (2402) Bad night (3480)
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(850): View more from Florida

I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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(850): I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5 http://tfl.nu/td44

Replies (58) Good night (813) Bad night (4861)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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(641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc

Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (3397)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.

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(402): I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now. http://tfl.nu/drco

Replies (57) Good night (6713) Bad night (1086)
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(607): View more from New York

The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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(607): The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again. http://tfl.nu/rkzi

Replies (27) Good night (6341) Bad night (927)
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(248): View more from Michigan

yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party

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(248): yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party http://tfl.nu/f5te

Replies (7) Good night (3469) Bad night (863)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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(+44): i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit. http://tfl.nu/4l0m

Replies (5) Good night (2097) Bad night (1010)
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(713): View more from Texas

I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.

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(713): I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well. http://tfl.nu/o2ii

Replies (4) Good night (1628) Bad night (604)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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(404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw

Replies (3) Good night (428) Bad night (866)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.

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(314): So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better. http://tfl.nu/6bjm

Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (553)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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(865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (437)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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(306): she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex http://tfl.nu/jwtl

Replies (7) Good night (956) Bad night (414)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

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(412): i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms. http://tfl.nu/uje7

Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (344)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences

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(603): I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences http://tfl.nu/xzfw

Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (241)

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