i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you had me at cake vodka
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
