I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
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she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?