you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.