Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(458): View more from Oregon

So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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(631): View more from New York

im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.

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(260): View more from Indiana

how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..

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