so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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