Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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(707): View more from California

I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight

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(813): View more from Florida

Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??

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(847): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Another day, another engagement, another cat

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.

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