i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
