I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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