Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
