Whod you bang
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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