24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
