I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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