Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
