I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
