My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
