My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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