love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
