he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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