I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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