I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
