So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
