I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
