I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
there is puke in my bra ... again
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
