how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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