Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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