She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
