you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Naked Twister starts at high noon
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
