Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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