Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
