Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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