covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
