I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
