dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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