A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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