...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
