afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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