Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
