apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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