We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
