I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
