does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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