You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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