are you still at the devil's house?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
