Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
