You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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