I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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