Sponge bath it is.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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