No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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