Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
