I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
