His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
