Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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