can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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