Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
