Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
