My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
