He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize